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DR JOHN DEMARTINI - Updated 6 months ago

If you're a coach, consultant, counselor, therapist, psychologist, social worker, or a worker in any field of human behavioral service, and you assist people in transforming and overcoming challenges and obstacles they face, or the perceived traumas they've experienced, then this article may be of particular interest to you.

A bit of background about myself: I have been involved in the education process for over 50 years and my focus is on human behavior particularly as it relates to empowering people to live extraordinary lives.

I have worked with hundreds of thousands of people around the world in personal and professional development seminars as well as in one-on-one private consultations.

I have developed a methodology known as the Demartini Method, which I have used to help people process and thereby transform their emotional baggage so that they are released from perceived burdens that they sometimes use as their reasons for not being able to fulfill their full potential in life.

The Demartini Method consists of a series of questions that you can use to help your clients become conscious of and dissolve what may be blocking them in the pursuit of their dreams.

Whether your clients want to grow their businesses, work on relationships, break through limits in wealth building, or enhance their social influence, this method is highly versatile in helping them to achieve tangible results in short periods of time.

Take a moment to consider anything you may be infatuated with or resent, anything you're proud of or ashamed of, anything you fear losing or gaining, or any emotional drama you've experienced but haven't yet found a way to resolve. All of these aspects become ingrained in your subconscious mind, leading to the development of impulses towards and instincts away from which influences your behavior until you dissolve them and perceive them in a neutral manner.

Anything you are infatuated with, resentful towards, proud of, or ashamed of takes up space and time in your mind, exerting an influence over your actions.

I’m going to share some of the many applications of the Demartini Method that you could use in your sessions with clients but I’m going to relate the teachings, relative to you so that you can use your own individual experiences to process what I’m sharing.

The Demartini Method

In my experience, one of the primary obstacles that may prevent people, whether it’s you or your clients, from breaking through and achieving greatness is the act of comparing themselves to others.

I have found that there are seven fears or phobias that are most common to people I have worked with. They are:

1. The fear of not being smart enough.
    
2. The fear of not being successful or the fear of failure.
    
3. The fear of not having wealth or losing money.
    
4. The fear of not having a relationship or losing one.
    
5. The fear of not having social connections or losing people's support.
    
6. The fear of ill health, death, or disease, or not having good health.
    
7. The fear of not being up or elated and feeling down or depressed.

In the large majority of cases, these fears stem from comparisons to other people.

You tend to only fear rejection or the LOSS of something you're INFATUATED with, and fear the GAIN of something you RESENT.

The Demartini Method is specifically designed to help you dissolve these phobias or fears and the associated baggage.

There is no phobia or fear without a corresponding philia or fantasy – like two poles of a magnet. For instance, if you're infatuated with someone, you will fear their loss. The fear of their loss originates as a result of your corresponding fantasy or infatuation of parts of them you are attached to.

If you resent someone, you will fear their gain. The fear of their gain originates as a result of your corresponding nightmare of their gain and the corresponding fantasy of ESCAPING that gain.

These fears come with their synchronous polar opposites, phobia and philia, and the Demartini Method is a tool to dissolve these mind-distracting emotional polarities or baggage that stops you or your clients from being present, powerful, purposeful, prioritized, and productive.

For example, consider a scenario where you meet someone on the street, and you perceive them as more successful than you. Consequently, you may engage in self-comparison, which often results in self-minimization and criticism. I've witnessed this pattern countless times - people comparing themselves to others instead of measuring their daily actions against their own dreams, higher objectives, and what truly aligns with their unique highest values.

When you place someone on a pedestal and become infatuated with them, that person occupies space and time in your mind, and you may attempt to inject their hierarchy values into your life.

You tend to hear injected extrinsic values in your head in the form of injected imperatives.

The way you'll know if you or your clients are doing this is when you hear the words, "I ought to be doing this," "I should be doing this," "I’m supposed to be doing this," "I've got to do this," "I have to do this," "I must do this," "I need to do this."

If you want to know why you or your clients may think you are they are sabotaging, not be staying focused, and not disciplined – it’s because you or your clients may be trying to live by someone else's values instead of your/their own intrinsic highest values.

Emotional responses serve as valuable feedback. They are letting you know that you are not being authentic to your own highest values. That's why values play a central role in all my work and in nearly every seminar I conduct, because I know that it’s the first step of true empowerment and wise to ensure that you're congruent with what YOU value most.

The moment you infatuate with someone, place them on a pedestal, attempt to inject their values, and compare yourself to them, you are being too humble to admit what you see in them is also inside you. As a result, you will downplay yourself, put yourself in a relative pit. You will fear not being able to live up to that expectation, leading to self-criticism.

I've spent many decades studying reflective awareness, and one thing I have confirmed is that we don’t judge others on the outside for something they've done without having done the same or something similar ourselves in our own form.

I've taken hundreds of thousands of people through the Demartini Method, and I'm confident that whatever traits, whether positive or negative traits, you perceive in other people, you possess them too.

The Demartini Method helps to hold you accountable for recognizing these traits, allowing you through reflective awareness to level the playing field to those you admire, or despise and realize that nothing is missing in you.

Developing reflective awareness is the path of self-love. Owning and loving your inner hero and villain and seeing how all parts of you serve yourself and the world is liberating. How can you truly love yourself if you’re not honoring all parts of yourself? How can you truly love yourself if you’re trying to get rid of half of yourself?

You have each of the many same traits you perceive in others. If you expect to live by the values of outer authorities, you likely won't honor your own. As you attempt to live their values, you will feel frustrated by your life and feel like something is missing.

It can be an amazing game-changer to identify your highest values and then structure your life so you live congruently with what you value most. This can be transformative in helping you live an authentic life and embrace the magnificence of who you are.

I would recommend that you rather be a first-rate version of yourself than attempt to be a second or third-rate version of someone else.

You're not lacking the traits you admire in others; you already possess them.

If I were to look at someone like Stephen Hawking and his accomplishments in cosmology, I could admire his diligence, regardless of his health issues and how he persevered. However, I don't lack that trait.

If I examine myself, I discover that I exhibit the same behavior in MY area of expertise and teaching. You do too in your unique hierarchy of values as do your clients in their highest values.

You don't lack the traits you admire in others; you already have them. The Demartini Method asks you questions that help you to acknowledge this, allowing you to stand on the shoulders of the people you admire instead of living in their shadows and constantly comparing yourself to them.

To reiterate this point, because I believe it to be key on your journey to self-mastery and authenticity, the root of so much turmoil in people’s lives is the habit of comparing themselves to others.

To help you identify what specifically you’re admiring and potentially comparing yourself to, ask yourself: What specific trait, action, or inaction do you perceive this individual displays or demonstrates that you admire most?

Once you've identified it, go to a moment where and when you have displayed or demonstrated the same behavior, keep stacking up in your mind all the times when you’ve done this same behavior until you realize it's not missing in you and it is to the equal amount.

In your own highest values, you possess the same behavior they have in their highest values. It may differ in form but in essence, it’s the same. While your unique hierarchy of values may differ, the behavior is already within you; nothing is lacking.

It is also wise to consider the downsides of the individual’s behavior that you admire. As long as you're infatuated with their behavior, you're likely to continue trying to inject their values into your own life and attempt to live by their values.

For example, in a new relationship, you may temporarily sacrifice what's important to you to be with them because you fear losing them.

Similarly, when you envy others and attempt to imitate them, you tend to sacrifice what’s important to you and you potentially end up undermining your own potential.

Identifying the downsides of their admired behavior can help you remove them from the pedestal you have placed them on, and level the playing field.

When you establish a level playing field and recognize that you possess what you admire in others, and that your traits are just as honorable or valuable as theirs, you give yourself permission to honor your own abilities and stop living in their shadows.

In doing so, you can stand on their shoulders and allow them to inspire you to unlock your own potential.

To further level the playing field, you can identify the downsides of your displaying the admired behavior to others. When you do, it helps prevent excessive pride.  When you see the downside of the admired behavior, it sets you free from your infatuation with that trait.

The Demartini Method is a powerful way to help you dissolve any polarized emotions so that you can guide yourself and your clients back into poised, grateful, objective states of mind.

In doing so, you are more likely to be present and authentic in your interactions, and less likely to puff yourself up with self-righteousness or diminish your self-worth with self-wrongeousness.

To Sum Up: How the Demartini Method can assist those in the coaching industry

• Many imbalanced perceptions and skewed ratios of perception are stored in your subconscious mind, primarily in the hippocampus. These perceptions tend to manifest as impulses towards what you infatuate with and instincts away from that which you resent - that trigger emotional reactions before you have time to think, placing you in a reactionary state rather than a proactive, design-driven mindset. The Demartini Method can assist you in helping clients break free from emotional drama and baggage, allowing them to clearly see life as a path forward rather than an distracting obstacle.
   
• It’s common for individuals to compare themselves to those they've placed on pedestals, often resulting in feelings of self-minimization, fear or phobias. These emotions can immobilize and hinder progress. These issues are quickly resolvable through the Demartini Method.
   
• The Demartini Method has a broad range of applications, spanning relationships, business, finance, social influence, and physical health.
   
• I've taught the Demartini Method to thousands of coaches, teachers, psychologists, clergy, and individuals from diverse backgrounds, all dedicated to helping people. If you're one of them, I encourage you to seize the opportunity to attend the Breakthrough Experience, where you'll be introduced to the Demartini Method. By the end of the event, you'll have undergone the process, dissolved your perceived baggage, and learned how to use the Demartini Method effectively to bring about transformation.
   
• Once you experience its power and witness the immediate results it produces, you'll be eager to incorporate it into your practice. It's not a hit-or-miss approach; it's a method that yields tangible change in behavior through consistent effort and application. By doing so, you can empower yourself to assist others in achieving something extraordinary.
   
• Lastly, I'd like to mention that on my website, drdemartini.com, you'll find a FREE confidential Value Determination Process that can assist you in helping your clients align their goals with their highest values. This alignment increases the likelihood of achieving objectives that resonate with what they truly value.
   

As a teacher and coach, one of the most rewarding experiences is witnessing the transformation in people's lives and hearing their expressions of gratitude for the transformations they've undergone.

I receive emails every day filled with such stories from individuals whose lives have been profoundly impacted by the Demartini Method in areas like relationships, business, and health. This is what makes our work meaningful – the opportunity to serve and witness transformation.

I’d love to teach you how to use the Demartini Method and help you elevate your practice to new heights. Whether you're a coach, counselor, therapist, or in any other service profession, the Demartini Method can become a valuable addition to your toolkit.

Are you ready for the NEXT STEP?

If you’re seriously committed to your own growth, if you’re ready to make a change now and you’d love some help doing so, then book a FREE Discovery call with a member of the Demartini Team so we can take you through your mini power assessment session.

You’ll come away with a 3-step action plan and the foundation to empower your life.

 

Book Your TICKET for Dr Demartini's Breakthrough Experience

If you’re ready to go inwards and do the work that will clear your blockages, clarify your vision and balance your mind, then you’ve found the perfect place to start with Dr Demartini at the Breakthrough Experience.

In 2 days you’ll learn how to solve any issue you are facing, transform any emotion and reset the course of your life for greater achievement and fulfillment.

You’ll unlock your true potential and lay the groundwork to empower all 7 areas of your life.

Get ready to take your life to a whole new level of meaning and purpose.

Today is the day you step into your power and value yourself by investing in your inspired life when you sign up for Dr Demartini’s signature seminar the Breakthrough Experience:

Click HERE to book your TICKET on the Breakthrough Experience